Sites I love

Dear Angie-

I saw your parents, the grandparents-to-be, on Easter. Oh, how proud and excited they are!

I am not sure what to write about this week. What is going on with you? What things are you thinking about? Inspire me.

I did want to pass along some of my favorite web sites. Perhaps you already know them all!

Lil Sugar is where I head to see the latest kid fashions and read up on loads of fun and useful baby, kid, and parenting stuff.

ParentDish provides links to the latest child-development studies, as well as interesting articles on all topics parent related.

And when I want to compare myself to the more genetically advanced, I head over to Celebrity Babies. Too fun and too cute for words!

Miss you and happy baby growing!

Love, Julie

A bit more about food...

Dear Angie,
So last week, I sort of encouraged you to eat stuff they say you shouldn't. Yes, I know. I am a total rebel. This week, my advice on what you should not eat: Do not eat things that translate to the words "little piggy."

Yes, I learned this the hard way. When I was preggo with Noah, I was obsessed with Taco Bell's gorditas. I LOVED them. I would walk blocks and blocks out of my way to pick me up the meal deal: (it makes me cringe to write it out) not one, but TWO gorditas, a soft shell taco, and 16 ounces of soda. ACK! It was years later when someone told me that gordita means "little piggy" in Spanish. No wonder I gained...drumroll...55 pounds, ladies and gentlemen!

So even though I am sure you will have picture perfect weight gain, if you have a bad month, do not panic! Just think to yourself, "At least I am not a little piggy."

Love, Julie

Your pregnancy diet

So you've had your first doctor appointment, where they hand you a folder or book (sometimes both) full of pregnancy dos and don'ts. One of the topics in there is a list of foods that you cannot have. They include things like sushi, soft cheeses, and deli meat—all of which can carry a form of food poisoning called listeria. You are also supposed to limit your hot dogs and caffeine. And in some countries, they advise you to avoid shellfish and peanuts; thank God the U.S. has not jumped on that train.

For some reason, when a pregnant woman reads all these don'ts, her pregnancy craving becomes something on this list. I have a friend who ate so many Subway sandwiches during her pregnancy, she should have bought a franchise. Seriously.

With my second pregnancy, I wanted feta cheese so bad. Not only did I crave it, I knew it was the way to eternal internal peace. Finally, I couldn't take it any more. I went to Panera Bread and ordered the Greek salad, wiping up every last morsel of cheese with the baguette that comes with it.

And how did I feel when I was finished? Satisfied? Content? Down-right pleased with myself. No. I felt HORRIBLE! I was filled with guilt, the kind only a mother can feel. I went straight to the internet and researched listeria, convinced that if my baby made it, he or she would be permanently damaged.

But then I researched feta cheese in the United States. Guess what! The vast majority of feta in this country is pasteurized, which makes it perfectly safe for pregnancy cravings. A quick visit to the Panera web site confirmed that theirs was A-OK for me and my belly. (Why then, don't those diet lists note that most cheeses are probably okay, I don't know. Probably because men wrote them.)

The point of the whole thing is not to let these dos and don'ts freak you out if you slip. You should stay away from cigs and booze; but an occasional latte won't cause permanent damage. As long as you take general care of yourself, your body and God will do the rest.

We have some news: Telling people

Dear Angie,

Chances are you have already told nearly everyone who needs to know that you are pregnant. If not, you should really try to tell them before they start wondering. It has become a trend in certain Minnesota businesses to keep it quiet until long after the entire company is gossiping about it. No one wants to be that woman, having her breasts and belly discussed by everyone. Also, your boss should absolutely hear it from your first, but I am pretty sure you know that.

This brings me to the fact that telling people can be completely and totally awkward. When you say, "I'm having a baby!" you are also saying, "I had lots of sex!" That is pretty embarrassing for sweet little Catholic girls. I wish I could tell you that it gets easier with subsequent pregnancies, but I know for a fact that my mother did not tell one of her best friends that she was pregnant with me, her NINTH child, until said friend inquired about a rumor she'd heard — and Mom was five months along! Why didn't she tell her sooner? Because it was embarrassing! (And maybe her age and number of children had something to do with it, too. Who knows?)

You can actually order pregnancy announcements.

Because it's fun or because it saves you from embarrassment?

Women do all sorts of creative things to announce their news these days. They make t-shirts or frame photos of the sonogram. They bring cupcakes to work with the news written on it (a sure way to make your kid popular from the start). Some might argue that all this creative energy has come about because our society has become so competitive that we all want to give our children the most remarkable life from the very start. But I think it is because we are all avoiding that awkward I-had-lots-of-sex statement.

But I have some promising news for you: When it comes time for number 2, your first child can tell everyone for you. Those big bro/sis shirts are adorable and a lot less awkward that the good old fashioned announcement.

Love, Julie

So you are having a baby!

Dear Angie-

There is something magical when a couple is expecting their first baby. Every pregnancy and, of course, every child is special and amazing in their own right. But the first time you experience it, you are starting the most important job you will ever have. You are becoming a parent. (And yes, I know that is super cliche, but it is true.) The very definition of who you are changes in a very short amount of time. Think about it: It took you twenty-some years to become who you are today. And in nine short months, you will be someone new.

Now Angie, you are already an amazing person, so maybe it won't be so completely transforming. But for me, after Noah was born, I was all like, "Oh my goodness, look at me. I have become so good at being selfless and attentive and everything else a baby requires." It wasn't until Sky was born that I realized that in reality, Noah was SUPER low-maintenance and required very little of his mother. Nonetheless, parenthood did transform my thinking. Now nearly every decision I make is made as a mother. I think, "How will this effect my family?" before I think anything else. It is sort of weird and annoying sometimes, but it is good, too.

I learn something new from this whole parenting thing every day. (Okay, really, it is probably more like every week, because most nights are just a busy, repetitive cycle in which I try to feed, bathe, and bed people as efficiently as possible, all in hopes of enjoying a treat and TV with my husband.) But it all just goes to show you that you never know it all, and most of the time, you know next to nothing. So while I aim to offer valuable advice on the subjects of pregnancy and parenting, please realize there is only one thing that has been proven to work time and time again: make sure your children know that you love them and that you love your spouse. Like everything else, it all comes down to love.

I will leave you with this video, which will make you laugh, I hope. Pregnant women can't help but be a little bit smug. I mean, seriously, they are growing a person! How many people can say that?

Love, your aunt Julie